Stranger Anxiety
Lately I’ve been meeting people who already know me from reading my blog. Although I find it sort of flattering, it has its problems: Inevitably, soon after the formal introductions are made, I notice these people straining their necks to assess me for chin hairs. If that’s not distracting enough, instead of listening to their polite get-to-know-you questions and comments, I’m thinking about what they’re thinking of me considering I included the word bl*w-j*b in a post last week. (Editor’s note: my mother’s computer is on the fritz.)
I’m almost always socially awkward to begin with, unless I’m plopped in the middle of a family gathering where I feel cocooned by the warmth of my huge extended family and surrounded by blood relatives who are far crazier than me; but being in the presence of perfect strangers who know the intimate details of my life, like what I sleep in, my worst parenting bloopers, and my propensity to over-use the word crap, is daunting. Worst of all, I can’t revert to my roll as the funny lady because they’ve already read every bit of my material.
This is also why I hesitate to meet other bloggers. You can’t imagine how freeing it is to get to know people without the ramifications of chemistry, unless you are one of those people who is addicted to dating men in prison. It’s a lot like that, really. You don’t genuinely want to meet that ax-murderer/rapist for fear he won’t find you as adorable as he does in your long, thought-out, edited letters or your photo-shopped pictures. Because you know that prisoner does not include your cellulite and bad breath when he calls up a mental image of you that he’s created in his head from just your words.
Oh, crap. This is not to mean that I have cellulite or bad breath. Okay, a little on the tops of my thighs, dammit!
See? It’s best if I just remain behind bars, trading cigarettes for kinky favors from the other inmates.
Hehe, I understand, but sometimes I feel a little left out because I have yet to connect with any bloggers in my area. I know there are quite a few, but most of them have NO idea who I am and it’s kinda like, well, would I REALLY want them to know me? Yes and no. I am pretty much myself on my blog, but I still hold back a little. There is a little more to me than what’s on my blog and it’s possible that someone wouldn’t like that little extra bit of Natalie that they would get in real life.
I know what you are thinking. I know. There she goes again, right?
I’m REALLY working on it.
I’d LOVE to meet you, Nat!
DANGGIT! Now you know my secret. I’m not really a suburban Mom with two kids, I’m a serial thief in jail who likes stalking HOT MOMS at bowling alleys. MWAHAHAHAA!!!
Seriously, though, I totally know how you feel. I was so nervous meeting folks at the bowl-a-thon because I was wondering if they’d all think I was some kind of freak. Then I realized everyone wasn’t so different from me after all, because THEY ALL HAD CHIN HAIR, TOO!
Hmmm….how shall I put this?
Too bad.
love,
me and my bad ass chin hairs
OK. That sounds like I have some kind of freaky ass-chin thing happening. While I’ll cop to having cellulite on way more parts of leg than top o’ thigh, and at the moment I’ve got severe coffee breath, and I do have chin hairs ( a beard, I tell you it’s a beard), they have nothing to do with my ass. Which is a whole other story.
It’s always odd for me to hear you describe yourself as socially awkward, I have never gotten that from you for a second…unless you have classified me as ‘zany extended family crazier than me’…and you need to stop with the cellulite talk YOU DO NOT HAVE ANY!!!!
I like meeting other bloggers. It is intimidating cause I think everyone’s blog is better than mine so like, what am I even doing there? And I’m socially retarded to boot. But I make myself do it, and generally find that if I feel chemistry with their blog, I most likely have it with the actual person as well.
However, it is VERY strange meeting strangers who already read your blog. I found out a few moms of my sons classmates were readers and I went right to the stupid posts, the overly gushy about the husband posts, the posts with the F bomb, etc… No getting around the weird factor of trying to chat with someone who knows your shit.
See, I like meeting other bloggers. I guess it’s because I like people and I don’t care if they have chin hair, because I don’t look.
In the end though, you have to do what feels comfortable for you.
I’m kinda with Natalie on this one. Have never met any of those folks I visit or comment on, and may never have that opportunity. My kids and wife read my blog, but I can be myself with them… right? I sure hope so!
I tink yer hot. Specially the bowljob part. I pirnted your picktures and taped em to the wall in my cell. I get tree hours of unsupervized yard time evry week. Wanna hang out?
I like pills?
btw lisa, you are definitely ‘zany extended family’. crazier than me? equal for sure.