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And the Emmy Goes to…

With Nathan away I’ve slipped off the intelligent, read-a-book wagon and have spent long hours watching bad television. I’ve been able to catch some very popular shows for the first time. Let me tell you People, there’s some truly scary programming going on out there.

I have a sick attraction to anything to do with illness, so I’ve whittled away many hours watching the Discovery Health Channel. I could watch the stomach stapling obesity shows for a month straight. I’m also really loving Mystery Diagnosis and Medical Incredible. The problem is, my brain gets a little tweaked when I watch this stuff and now I have this pinky that doesn’t bend quite as well as it should and I just know it’s a marker for a rare, life-threatening syndrome.

Last night I watched the scariest hour of television ever called The Wife Swap. This show felt more invasive than watching a 700 pound man naked on a double-gurny getting complete stomach bypass surgery. I had to turn my head away at a few parts. Seeing as I have an unhealthy obsession with trailors, I absolutely loved getting a look at how a family of five actually lives in 450 square feet of hovel. Again, I’ve watched brain surgery that was less messy. Please tell me that these people are actors and that the whole thing is scripted so I can actually sleep tonight.

After the buzz I got from the Crazy Lady Give-Away show, I didn’t have the willpower to turn off The Supernanny. Are there really children out there who behave that way? Are there truly parents who are that innept? I didn’t see all that much in the way of strategies being taught, but I believe there was a week long period between visits in which each child got a frontal lobotomy. Way to go, Jo; exactly what I would have recommended for this bunch too.

I thought the nanny let the dad really have it about his anger and intimidating tone with his children, but she forgot to diagnose Ch-Ch-Ch-Chia. Couldn’t she see that the poor woman was so exhausted from holding those boobs up all day, there was just nothing left for discipline?

I think that show is so popular because women like me turn it off at the end and think: Damn, I’m good!

I’ve got three more nights to burn my brain out on America’s Entertainment Finery. Any must-see suggestions?

This entry was posted on Thursday, March 27th, 2008 at 9:06 am and is filed under The Assholery. You can follow any responses to this entry through the feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

15 Comments so far

People in the Sun March 27th, 2008 9:47 am

When Honey’s here I complain she watches crap TV all the time, but as soon as she leaves I turn on VH1 and I don’t leave until someone from Celebrity Fit Club gets into a fight. Then I watch Best Week Ever. Then Honey comes home and I pretend I like watching PBS.
Stephanie @ Figments March 27th, 2008 9:49 am

Oh, I’ve got one! It’s the one with Britney Spears in it!!!! Ugh, just can’t remember the name. Watch it and you’ll never get those 30 minutes back.
Paula March 27th, 2008 9:57 am

What happened to all those obesity clinic shows? I can’t find them anymore!

“Intervention” (A&E) and “Celebrity Rehab” (VH-1) are my two shameful recommendations. Not that *I’ve* ever watched them….
magpie March 27th, 2008 10:19 am

i’ve been watching “in treatment” - that is one mesmerizing train wreck.
Natalie March 27th, 2008 11:52 am

“Are there truly parents who are that innept?”

Hey, I resemble that remark.

(Although, in the Dad’s defense, I didn’t think he was yelling at his kids during that bike ride at the end. But that’s the only part I saw and it was in passing. I didn’t see the whole show.)

If you want some REALLY BAD programming, you should have watched the CW last night. You’ve got America’s Next Top Model (and we all know how I feel about that), and then the mother of all crap reality shows: GIRLICIOUS. It’s too bad it’s Thursday, you could have completely wasted two hours of your life last night.
Lyrics of My Life March 27th, 2008 12:37 pm

I totally can’t watch Supernanny anymore. I want to step into the television and slap the parents around for a while.

And hey, there’s always The Bachelor. There’s always high drama and girls out for blood. And yes, I’m a fan. lol
chaotic joy March 27th, 2008 1:05 pm

Last night while my husband was shooting pool in the basement I found myself sucked into a Jon & Kate plus eight marathon. I couldn’t imagine why I was sitting there watching other people’s toddlers scream on television after listening to my own all day.

But I did turn off the TV praising God for my tubal.
Cara March 27th, 2008 1:10 pm

I actually saw Suppernanny for the first time last night and had some of the same reactions.
I could not believe how the 6 year old acted at bed time.
Me and G looked at each other and said either we are good or just plain lucky.
The End of Motherhood? March 27th, 2008 1:26 pm

Where is that “intelligent, read-a-book wagon” anyway?
Clayjack March 27th, 2008 2:53 pm

What is going on with your site? Text only? Maybe this is in anticipation of the switch to the new layout? Or the addition of the graphic? (almost Friday, you know)

Or maybe to reduce bandwidth? I did notice your site was unavailable recently, and that was given as the reason. Time to plaster the site with ads and move it to a dedicated server!

As for “must watch” - I like witnessing the descending spiral of humanity, and nothing captures that and wraps it in a bow quite like A&E’s Intervention. I probably like it because seeing those problems makes me run to the mirror and say “Dude, you’ve got it going ON!” when nothing else will. I would probably watch the medical/surgical shows, but I worked at an insurance company years ago and after having read through hundreds of life insurance claims, complete with medical records from diagnosis to death, I had hypochondriac’d my way into both brain and stomach cancer as well as an enlarged heart and a case of the hotdog fingers. So I’ve had more than I ever need of that kind of information.

Does anyone know if the amateur murder scene investigator show is still being televised? I think it was being shown on Spike TV.

Hey, I like this…Maybe I oughta filch it.
Nutmeg March 27th, 2008 2:56 pm

Filch away, Clayjack! I have no idea what has happened to my site! I’m in a bit of a panic and clueless at doing anything about it! Anybody have any ideas?
Clayjack March 27th, 2008 3:30 pm

My guess is somehow your theme got unselected or something like that. The site appears to be functioning properly except for the presentation of the theme. I’ve heard of something like this happening before, but I’ve never seen it. In your dashboard check “presentation” to see what’s there as your theme. Also, check via ftp to make sure all the files for that theme are still there. Maybe re-upload them if you aren’t sure.

And don’t panic - this stuff creates a buzz of anticipation.
Lauren March 27th, 2008 4:17 pm

I was going to say Wife Swap, but you already saw it. I accidentally saw part of it at my gym, and my children did too. A family who brushed their teeth with butter and ate raw poultry.
Adorable Girlfriend March 27th, 2008 5:22 pm

Dude, have you not watched the Price is Right lately?

Trust me — do it and then lock all the doors in the house!!!!
Mari May 27th, 2008 10:33 pm

I am totally into Dangerous Catch and A Haunting, on one of the discovery channel. It`s gotten so bad, i am into the reruns now. I want to marry a sea captain who brings home king crab.

I stopped watching wife swap because i don`t believe there are really people like that.

I can`t stand the desperate women on The Bachelor,so i don`t watch that.

Is there life after American Idol??????

And the Emmy Goes to…

15 Comments so far

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