simplynutmeg.com

(Originally posted, June, 2006)

1.  Is this your first?  (Are the other three hanging off of my arms and legs invisible?)

2.  Are you sure it’s not twins?  (I’ve had twelve ultrasounds.)

3.  Are you expecting?  (Asked on the same day as #2!)

4.  When are you due? (followed by) Wow, that’s going to be a big baby!  (Thanks so much!)

5.  Aren’t you done yet?  (Do you mean is this one done cooking or are you referring to the size of my family?)

6.  It must be a girl because you sure don’t have the glow! (This said by my own mother!)

7.  Were you this big with the others?  (Thanks SO MUCH!))

8.  Would you like a hit of my joint? (No, asshole, I’m only allowed to smoke crack when I’m pregnant!)

9.  You and Nathan need to find a hobby! (Obviously we have.)

10.  Did you actually want another?  (Like I’m going to tell you if I didn’t!)

11.  What will you do if it’s another girl? (Sell her on Ebay, of course!)

And our personal favorite…

12.  Still trying for that boy? (Yes, and if it’s a girl refer to #11!)

Ahh, the memories…

As of today summer is upon us. I awakened to a full house of screaming children, a sink full of dishes, one puking 21 month old, and relentless sunshine. No bus is going to cart away half of my workload for the next ten weeks. Reflecting on my summer schedule of swimming lessons, horseback riding camp, library science camp, birthday parties, trips to the pool, to the beach, to the mountains, and a job… I got to thinking, if Oprah can do it why can’t Nutmeg? So, here begins the Summer Rerun Edition; just once a week I’m pulling something from the same week two years ago, when only Nathan and Jodi read my blog anyway, and posting it as a summer rerun. One of the best things about blogging is being able to jump back into my own past and reminisce. Hopefully you’ll enjoy it too! Today, from June 2006 (seven months pregnant with Finnian), I give you:

Target Here I Come!

I just heard about the woman who was harassed in Target for nursing her baby in a dressing room.  This shit SHOCKS me!  Internet porn is a billion dollar industry with millions of people logging on daily to ogle breasts even from the work place, but people balk at the possibility of a nursing mother accidentally revealing a little nipple in public! 

At the risk of being dragged into the center of town and stoned for the admission, I am a public nurser.  I don’t even have the decency to go in a dressing room; I just whip it out while flipping through the clearance racks.  I’m not an exhibitionist, but I do have a handle on my own id and expect the same humanity from the people around me.  Once, while nursing my daughter on a bench in the middle of the mall, I was approached by a security guard who told me the mall had a special room for nursing mothers.  I politely told him that I was perfectly comfortable right where I was and that it was fine with me if all the people who had a problem with me waited in that wonderful room until I was finished feeding my infant.  It would only be about half an hour.  The guard turned purple and tripped over himself getting away from me.  I should add - I was not sitting there in a garter belt and black push-up bra swinging a dildo - I even had a nursing blanket slung over my shoulder! 

The whole issue strikes me as so archaic and so hypocritical coming from a nation that sells tires and yogurt through sexual innuendo and imagery and allows 200,000 of our children to be sold yearly as sex slaves. (Yes, I watched Oprah today.)  How did we get so screwed-up?

Bloggers, feel free to Filch this idea.  To Summer!