simplynutmeg.com

So it turns out the Well Read Hostess is actually a pretty awesome hostess!  This weekend she had the Philly Blogger Network over to her house to get drunk on cosmos and stuff our faces with decadent desserts get to know each other better and plan our future endeavors as a group.  I was both hung over and sleep deprived from the night before which included a spectacular Ben Folds concert and breakfast at Denny’s at two in the morning.  I  stayed away from the cosmos but I was so hyped up on caffeine I acted like an obnoxious drunk anyway.  To hear more about our fun afternoon, to meet some awesome bloggers and to see some pictures you can go here or here or here or here or here or here or here.  Or here.  Or here.  Or not.

Can you guess which of us used to be a porn star?

Scoop on the WRH: 

• She obviously cleaned for weeks before we got there.  I’m not buying her  Oh, the place is a mess story.  Nobody’s house can be that clean;
• She totally does not have nine chins or bingo arms;
• She does not like to sharpen pencils;
• Her husband looks like a very cute longshoreman;
• I think her kids poop on the floor;
• She dropped a ten-pound weight on her kid’s finger.
• We might go to BlogHer together - anybody want to sponsor us?
• She stole my platter.

When I got home from Kristen’s my living room had ceased to exist as Nathan and The Heinie Biter had turned it into a six room fort complete with a turret, a dungeon and windows using large amounts of cardboard and every blanket in the house. (Pictures soon!)  Yes, there was beer involved.  Why do I ever leave that man unsupervised?

All Adither recently lamented that her half-assed kitchen blog has surpassed her beloved personal blog in traffic.  Do you want to know why?  Because it has a very specific niche.  Everything I’ve recently learned about blogging successfully says you must have a niche!  What’s a niche you ask? 

NICHE (noun) 1. suitable place for somebody - a position or activity that particularly suits somebody’s talents and personality or that somebody can make his or her own. 

Merlin Mann gave the example of lesbian crochet blog as one with a solid niche.  Damn.  I can’t crochet. 

According to one person from that conference who shall remain nameless because I can’t remember it, ‘mommy’ is not a niche.  It’s the Grand Canyon.  This savvy business woman referred to mommy bloggers as the paparazzi of the internet.  (Let’s all take a moment for a collective boo.)

So I’ve been thinking about developing my niche.  I’m focusing on interests that particularly suit my talents and personality.  Here are a few of my options thus far:

NUTMEG’S LIKELY NICHES:

chin hair blog
cheap ass beer blog
pills blog
Elisabeth Hasselbeck smack down blog
vacuum love blog
Nathan love blog
politics blog
poorly run contest where winners are never announced blog (tomorrow, people)
foot in mouth blog
social anxiety blog

So here’s where you can help - what do you see as Nutmeg’s suitable place?  (I know you’re all thinking sex/porn, but I’ve looked into it and the market is flooded.) 

Keep in mind I’m a quick learn.

I’m home from Izeafest!  John Chow was so incredibly impressed by me and all I’ve accomplished here at The Nut that he featured me on his blog here.  No, really, look again.   I’m the one in the dress and jean jacket, fashionable wedges, and aqua purse trying desperately to find something to do with myself during a break in a room full of scary strangers studying the art.  Does that fern make my butt look big? 

Watch.  I’ll probably get kicked off of Google now.

That’s my good friend Shoemaker at the drink table putting my card in his back pocket.

Must I remind you that:

“80% of success is just showing up”  Woody Allen

As my brilliant savvy friends expound on the virtues of something called Twitter, I have just discovered something equally as fascinating called FACEBOOK. Ever heard of it?

Like all things social, social networking is not one of my strengths. Because I run a blog, I get invited to join many of them. I join them all and then promptly forget about them the next day. BECAUSE I HAVEN’T A CLUE WHAT I’M SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THEM! My favorite is Cre8buzz which I joined the minute I heard of it, during the beta stage, but couldn’t figure out what the hell I was doing and promptly deleted it from my favorites in a fit of middle-aged angst. The best part is they now send me an email every day informing me of my blog rank - three million something, just below that blog about people who collect hub caps from the side of the road. A real ego booster…

But this FACEBOOK thing is different. When I first set up my own account I was like a sugared-up kid on her first trip to Chuckie Cheese. I ran from game to ride to machine wanting to play with everything at once. And I even figured some of it out with a little help from my friends. My favorite part is the photo album. Can you believe I can actually put all of our vacation photos up on the web and like anybody with the url can access them? It boggles me sober!

And YES! I have friends! Never in my whole socially retarded life have I been able to make friends so quickly!

So about the Twitter thing - I’m just not ready. Maybe in ten years, when the rest of you are inserting needles into your eyeballs and transporting your every thought into your network of other needlestickers’ brains, I’ll be ready to try texting my life in 147-character sound bites.

In the meantime, if you have a FACEBOOK account, let’s be friends! You can find me under simplynutmeg.

I have some business to take care of here at SNM (I’ve just realized how cool that sounds - I’ve always wanted to write an S & M blog.) Forgive me while I blow my own horn because Greeblemonkey has given me an award: This is what she had to say:

“If Meg wasn’t way hotter than me, I would think we were twins. I can’t think of a post she has ever written that I haven’t screamed “Can I get an AMEN!?!?” at the end of.”

Okay, about the hot part, Greeblemonkey has never actually seen me and is going on the very few pictures I’ve posted of myself which are all at least sixty years old. About the rest, can I get an Amen?!?!?

Aimee gave me my very first award like a million blog years ago and pretty much put me on the blogging map. Any time I’m passing on awards, she’s the first on my list. She’s a daily read even on my busiest days. Plus, she knows how to do magical things like make some words red and get her archives to pull down, not to mention her photography is amazing!

And now I have to pass on this award to ten bloggers minus one because I’m pretty sure I just gave it back to Aimee.

2. OKAY, FINE, DAMMIT

Maggie has become another daily read and I’m quite sure she’s received this award already hundreds of times. Maggie has a way with words that inspires me. She is a story teller. She has an ability of letting you into her world and into her heart so you feel like you’ve known her forever.

3. The Well Read Hostess

I know you might be getting bored with my obsession, but she makes me laugh out loud every single day, and sometimes even twice a day. I have a feeling this woman’s weekly grocery store list is funny.

4. Family Clay

Clayjack is a new blogger and, HE’S A MAN! This is the first Daddy blogger who has caught and actually held my attention. He’s also just about the nicest guy you’d ever meet. Virtually.

5. From Here to There

Natalie has a way of being so human and so honest, she makes it easier to be me. I’ve followed her journey for a long time now and I love how she is always growing and striving to be all she knows she can be.

6. The New Girl

Who is not so much the new girl any more. I’ve so enjoyed watching TNG grow as a first time mother. She has a wicked sense of humor and her writing is beautiful. So is The Littlest New Girl!

7. Magpie Musings

I usually shy away from bloggers who are this intelligent, but she also lets her daughter dress like this, which makes us automatically members of the same very cool club. I’m so drawn to Magpie’s life in a quiet little house outside of New York City. Somehow our lives are as different as two snowflakes, but they keep falling on the exact same spot.

8. All Adither

If All Adither didn’t live on the other side of the country, I would park myself in her kitchen and never leave. She has a way of making you feel that comfortable.

9. The HG-Spot

If you can get beyond the whole Battlestar Galactica thing, HG is always funny and has recently gotten her bloggy groove on. It’s best if you believe in fairies if you’re going to read this blog.

10. Whimsy

Treat yourself to a trip to The Creamery. Whimsy, new mom to baby Bean, brings back the sweetest memories for me of the very beginning.

Hanlie, another Excellent blogger, gave me this award:

Before I bore the non-bloggers to bits, here’s my quick list of bloggers who know how to chat. I’m sure I could talk to them for hours:

Kathy Likes Pink

Sweet Home Alabama

Our Crazy Life

CEO Mom

The End of Motherhood?

Rainy Day in May

I could go on and on… but I’ll stop there before I lose the last of my readers.

On the subject of awards, I know I don’t get to comment on all of the blogs I’d like to as much as I’d like to, especially when I read them off my Google Reader, but if there’s an award for the funniest commenter, I think it should go to me. Let’s face it: I slay me.

If you’re looking for a way to involve your young children in Earth Day that doesn’t involve wearing rain boots or digging in the mud, Greeblemonkey has come up with the perfect way: Kid Art Auction 2008.  The best thing about her idea is you don’t have to be a blogger or a grown-up to participate.  The best thing about it for me is it involves the making of artwork which has Nathan’s name written all over it and allows me a few hours to put my feet up and read a book. 

All proceeds raised will benefit We Can Solve It, a project from the Alliance for Climate Protection.  Here’s how it works:

———- FOR PARENTS ———-

1. Have your little artist (aged 17 or younger) draw, paint, scribble… whatever… a masterpiece no larger than 24″ big. Or take from their stock, seeing as we all have stacks and stacks of their artwork sitting around, right? Please be careful about what artwork you pick though - do not reveal anything too private! This *is* the online world, after all! You do not have to be a blogger to participate! Come one, come all!

2. Have your kid(s) agree to donate their artwork to the first ever Kids Art Auction for Earth Day.

3. By participating, you agree to incur the shipping costs of your kid’s artwork to whomever “wins” their piece. To keep this cost reasonable, the auction is restricted to North America.

4. Take a nice, clear digital photo of the piece you are donating.

5. Make sure you are a Flickr member (it’s free!), and then join the Kids Art Auction for Earth Day 2008 Group.

6. Add the photo of your child’s artwork to the Kids Art Auction for Earth Day 2008 pool.

7. Once the bidding closes (April 22nd, 2008), ship the art to the winner!

———- FOR BIDDERS ———-

1. Visit the Kids Art Auction for Earth Day 2008 pool and peruse the masterpieces from all the kids participating.

2. Bidding starts at $5.00 for every work of art.

3. Make comments on each piece of art’s Flickr page to place your bids.

4. Closing date and time for the auction is 9pm Mountain time, Tuesday April 22, 2008 (Earth Day!).

5. After the closing time, I will go through the Flickr pool and finalize the winning bids.

6. Winners will be notified via Flickr mail! So please be a member of Flickr!

7. Once you know you are a winner, please make a donation in the winning amount to: THE WE CAN SOLVE IT PROJECT. All donations are tax deductible.

8. Once you have confirmation of your donation, copy and paste it into a Flickr mail to the parent of the artist (deleting any confidential information, of course!) and the parent will view that as a receipt for the donation. Let’s all play nice here - OK? No cheating. This will be totally fun for the kids and it’s for charity, right?

9. Include your shipping information in the Flickr mail, and the parent will then ship (via the cheapest mail delivery option) your won artwork to you!

———- FOR BLOGGERS ———-

1. If you are a parent, have your kid(s) participate!

2. Either way, spread the word! Visit Greeblemonkey to pick up the beautiful badge designed by Declan. Link back to her post for the rules! Go forth and prosper!

 Keira, Madigan, and Rowan will be donating their masterpieces this week.  We’ve bought our canvases and they’ve sketched out their ideas, led by The High School Art Teacher.  It’s a good thing we have our own little edge in the family because I’ve visited the artwork already entered, and the competition is STIFF!

Here’s to the Power of the Blogosphere!