simplynutmeg.com

This about sums it up!

A long time ago Nathan and I decided to buy a house.  It took us a year or so to find one horrific enough to buy, but we did.  We bought the worst house in an awesome neighborhood and we spent the next twelve years turning it into our own little palace.  We did such a good job that when I found a 4000 square foot dream home in our price range we sold our little palace in 24 hours.  One showing, one bid, done.

And so the nutmegs lived happily ever after in the six bedroom dream home with cathedral ceilings, french doors, open living space, gas fireplace, three full baths, two and a half car garage, floor to ceiling windows…

Not.

Crazy lady rescinds the sale, jerks who bought little palace won’t budge on the closing date, Nathan and Meg spend endless hours scouring the net for home they can afford and then Nathan finds it. 

The most dispicable home in all of Pennsylvania.

In the most delightful neighborhood in all of Pennsylvania.

And it’s cheap.

Really cheap.

And now it’s ours.

Here’s how I explain it to people:  If a famous person was the previous owner of this house,  it would have been Homer Simpson.  And he would have consulted Liberace on design.  

After we bought it, the realtor went through with a previously scheduled open house to which I sent my sister Jodi to check it out. 

Once she’d seen it the poor girl avoided me for hours.  She couldn’t think of anything nice to say.  When I finally cornered her, all she could say was, “I’m speechless.”

That bad.

The first floor had five rooms, all tiled in a different tile, each uglier than the next.

Most of the house was painted in one shade of puke gold or another with a ghastly faux finish including the kitchen cabinets.

The entire house was trimmed out in molding that you would expect to find in Versailles only it was cheap and ugly.  And some pieces were just missing.

Why try to tell you when I can show you!

A better shot of the spray-painted ceiling and check out the trim.

Groovy kitchen into family room.

Gold, Gold, and more Gold.

Speaking of trim…

And I haven’t even mentioned the outside of the house.  That’s a whole post of it’s own!  (Think rocket launch.) 

To be continued…

I know.  I’m incredibly sick of that prom picture too.  It wasn’t even a great prom.

And I’m the first on the left.  (The one who hasn’t posted in months.)

Why do I have that miserable look on my face?  Because my date was a dud. 

Albeit a very nice dud.

He gave me a desk blotter as a gift.

Enough said.

So I’ll be back full swing on Monday. 

Promise. 

The whole story.

With pictures.

Here’s a preview…

Don’t even try to think of something nice to write in comments - that’s a gold spray-painted ceiling you’re looking at.

To be continued…